Down for the Count

Less than a week before I return to work. And we're down. My husband and baby are sick. And I'm just tired.

This week my baby girl was supposed to start daycare. This was supposed to be my week to practice before I go back to work next week (too soon, much too soon). However, my daughter got sick for the first time in her life. It's amazing how awful a little person can sound. Every time she coughs, I jump. So we won't be going to daycare this week. There will be no practice runs. I'll just have to do the best I can on Monday getting us ready in the morning, drop her off, go to work, and learn from that. I sure hope her cough/cold is better. I'll have no choice, if it isn't.

The transition is nerve-wrecking anyway you slice it. I wanted to write this week while my daughter was in daycare. But this isn't happening. Instead my daughter is coughing in my face every few minutes so I'm sure I've got her cold germ somewhere in me waiting to pop up when I'm in the office next week.

If there is any point to all of my complaining, it's that I'm frustrated. Once again. I don't see any good solutions for my situation. Staying at home with my baby is only part of the solution. I know now after 5.5 months of being a stay-at-home mom that I need more relief built into my days for just me. I need someone to watch my baby for a few hours a day so I can write and sleep. That would be the solution. But we also need money. So I must work. And as of right now, work full time. So my daughter will be in the care of people I don't know more time than she will be with me Monday thru Friday. It kills me to think about this. I'm trying to stay open that perhaps this can work, but I fundamentally disagree with this set up. My daughter is my responsibility, not some daycare's. I'm upset. I am afraid.

Needless to say, my writing isn't going very well this week. But I am managing to pump out at least one crappy page a day. I suppose that's progress.

If anyone is reading this and has been through this before, I'd love to hear from you. Any tips on surviving this transition back to work and to daycare?

I'm down for now, but I won't be for long...