Reality and the Dream

Okay, I'm brave. I'm going to do this. Finally. Start a blog. Hello? Is there anybody out there?? Anybody at all who wants to follow the life of a new mother who badly wants to become a known author who never has to go to work in a cube again? If I had my druthers, I would stay at home, take care of my three month old baby girl and get paid big bucks to write my heart out. I wouldn't have to worry about finding good childcare for near slave wages (my biggest worry right now). And yes, I'd hire help around the house. Lots of it. Someone else to cook, clean, and do laundry. I'd just go around writing magazine articles and books and giving talks at quirky little bookstores around the country. And maybe in other countries. Then I'd come home and kiss my husband.

This is my dream.

My dream is no where near my reality. That's what what I hope this blog will be about: my attempt to merge the two.

The reality of my life is that I will soon be going back to work, after being on maternity leave for six months. I'll be going back to a job that regularly sucks the life out of me. But this time, I'll have my cutie-patootie daughter somewhere I haven't been with someone I have yet to meet. I am terrified. Terrified of that. Terrified of going back to work and having less time to write, to pitch my writing, to finish my manuscript, to change my life. Terrified I'll be come the tired, sexless nagging wife.

I have a lot of fears, dreams, and frustrations just like the next woman. And this blog is my attempt to move through all that. It's my attempt to get something done for myself while I learn how to be a new mom, work because I must, write by my lonesome, and love my husband.

I welcome you to the blog and to my new mama wannabe writer worker bee wife life.